hate crime at utsc.

This is cross-posted, with some edits, from my private journal, since I am not up to rewriting anything on it. It hurts too much.

So it's a Saturday, the day after spring formal, which was awesome, and I slept until three, and spent the afternoon and evening messing around on Facebook instead of doing homework, as usual. I'm scrolling through my friends' status updates when I notice someone's. It says something about arson and hate crime on campus. I'm concerned so I leave a post on her wall asking about it, and carry on.

A few hours later, still procrastinating, someone else has got a similar status up. One of his friends has written on his wall that they "saw the board" and someone else is asking what happened. Now I'm really concerned. Both of these friends are involved with the LGBTQ Lounge and I'm worried something happened to it. So I throw on my coat and take off to the B-wing, where the Lounge is and where they have a big bulletin board, in a glass case, between the AMACSS and SoSSA offices.

This is what I saw:



Someone set the bulletin board on fire. You can see that a whole pane of glass is missing and the scorch marks. There's residue, I presume from a fire extinguisher, on the frame and on the floor and on the two buttons placed on the ledge. When I got close to the board, I could smell the smoke. I went down to the Lounge itself to see if anything happened there, but it looked fine. I came back to the bulletin board and was almost too upset to take the picture, but I did.

Today I've heard a little more details. Apparently the glass casing was not smashed, it was removed from the frame. The administration should be releasing statements soon. There is now a Facebook group, which has a different picture posted:



Clearly from before it was all cleaned up, like when I saw it.

I am pissed off beyond belief. I'm angry and I'm worried and I'm scared for my friends. I hope the assholes who did this get caught and are swiftly punished.

How to really avoid/stop rape

I noticed a lot of people joining the Facebook group "tips for all women... please join... and pass on." I have some tips of my own for avoiding rape and assault.

Top two places sexual assault occurs, YOU could be AT RISK, AVOID THESE TWO PLACES:

1) Indoors
2) Outdoors

Other tips for avoiding rape:

- be male (most rape victims are female)
- if you can't avoid being female, at least don't form a romantic relationship with a man (many female rape victims are raped by their intimate partners)
- don't ever smile at or say hello to a man (he might think you want him to rape you, and who would question him, since you did after all smile and say hi)
- as well as not smiling and saying hello to men, also don't ignore them (they might get mad and attack you)
- Do not form relationships with other human beings. 75 percent of rapists know their victims. Don't have any fathers, step-fathers, uncles, brothers, clergy members, and neighbours.
- wear camouflage appropriate to whatever setting you're in (so rapists don't notice you)
- or at least cover yourself entirely (because if a rapist sees any part of your sexxay body he will be justified in appropriating it as his own)
- in addition to covering yourself entirely, also make sure that you don't cover yourself entirely because that too draws attention to yourself
- avoid parking lots, streets, especially the street you live on, and being in your own home
- live in a reinforced bunker on the side of a mountain with barred windows and several deadbolts on the door (sometimes rapists break into random houses to rape)
- shoot on sight anyone who approaches your property (rapists look just like everyone else)


In all honesty, the tips in the group (and in the e-mail forward it originated from) are, for the most part, BUNK. Please read the following articles from Snopes for details:
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/ninetips.asp
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/rape.htm

Furthermore, these tips are awful because they place all responsibility for safety and security on women. How do you think a woman who has been sexually assaulted might feel if she reads all these things she didn't do and feels responsible? This is something called BLAMING THE VICTIM. It is inappropriate and wrong. Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. The blame should be placed where it belongs - on the shoulders of the men who rape, and on the systemic oppression of women known as the patriarchy. Tips like this only serve to further these kinds of misogynist, victim-blaming attitudes and don't do anything to address the real problem, which is that there are men out there who believe that women's bodies are their public property to do with as they please. Until they wake up and realise that this is not the case, women will always be in some kind of danger.

Here are some real tips to stop rape, for men and women, that you should all pass along:
1) Fight the oppression of women, wherever, whenever, and however you see it.
2) Tell men to stop raping women. If a woman is drunk, don't rape her. If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her. If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her. If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her. If a woman is jogging in a park at 5AM, don't rape her. If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her. If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her. If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her. If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her. If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her. If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her. If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her. If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.

If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her. If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend. If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police. If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it's not okay to rape someone.

Don't just tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x, y, or z. Don't imply that it's in any way her fault. Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can too help yourself. Rape is not about sex, it's about control and power, and what kind of power comes from taking advantage of others? No power anyone should ever desire.

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Now playing: Something Corporate - Globes & Maps
via FoxyTunes

I'm still alive, I swear

Summer is upon us. I've left the SCSU (my term ended almost a month ago) and have drifted into the wonderful world of waiting tables, and when I'm not doing that, sitting on my ass.

Those of you who remember the disaster that was my boyfriend attempting to get new identification, all is well and he has been in Canada since the start of May. Got here while I was away on a retreat and I had a pleasant surprise when I called my mom's house and he answered the phone. Good times.

Some linkage of good reads and things to keep an eye on:

- I'm keeping my eye on this story. The girl's father really freaked me out when I saw him on the news - if you've seen it, you know he was dancing and grinning and waving as he was arrested. I'm waiting to hear more about it before I come up with commentary.

- Jill at Feministe has a good post on reaction to Paris Hilton's jail time. Sexualised insults and attacking women for being sexual, for enjoying sex, presuming that they do and that that's a bad thing, etc., are things that bother me very very much, so when Jill says,

I’ve found a lot of the conversation around the Paris Hilton jailing to be very troubling — people don’t want to see her incarcerated because she broke the law, but because she’s a “stupid bimbo,” a “skanky little whore,” a “stupid bitch,” a “ho,” a “piece of white trash,” a “ignorant cum hole on a stick,” a “fucking whorebag,” a “whinning pussystretched crab infested skank,” a “spoiled cunt,” etc etc.

I'm well inclined to agree.

- Speaking of Feministe, Zuzu has left the blog. I got to meet Zuzu recently and she is pretty darn awesome; believe me, she will be missed.

- Oh my god, ew. Ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

- Andy and I went to see the new Michael Lee-Chin Crystal at the Royal Ontario Museum on Friday. I have to say I was pretty darn underwhelmed. From the first time I saw the plans for the thing, I was horrified by it. And people were going on and on and on about it once it opened with glorious reviews and beautiful photos and the like, and I knew I was going to give it a chance anyway but... yeah. We went on Friday because that's the cheap night and despite the fact that it took like, five years to build the damn thing, it already looks cheap and beat up inside. Just in the entrance hall there was a bit of masking tape left on a wall, elsewhere I already saw dents in the walls (not to mention footprints on some of the slopes, since people can't seem to READ THE FUCKING SIGNS THAT SAY DON'T CLIMB ON THE WALLS), and in general it just seemed to be... meh. It wasn't brilliant, it wasn't inspiring, it wasn't beautiful, it was pretty darn meh. I am curious to see what it will be like when there's actually stuff in there (on the fifth floor there are already two small exhibits) but it seems like way too much money spent on something that has turned out to be really not that special. Anyway, I did take some pictures of my own, and in the end I stand by my initial proclamation of five years ago, that it's a blight on a beautiful old building. As Andy put it, in a somewhat appalled tone, when looking at it from the angle of that last picture, "It looks like a growth."

- From the Saturday Star, a series of profiles on women presidents, principals and deans at Canada's universities. It's really fascinating, and Mayo Moran, dean of law at U of T, hits the nail on the head when it comes to motherhood and career:

"You look at women in senior levels in the university and most have children that are grown or no children. That's not something that is true of men." Moran, 46, who has a 10-year-old son, adds: "I'm the only one (female dean) who had a son that was little. However, the last dean had four young kids when he became dean and no one mentioned that. It is one of the hurdles that we have to cross."

. Make sure you check out all the links on the sidebar to read these women's stories.

- From TheGoodReverend, a photo quiz: Exercise Equipment or Sex Toy?. I don't remember where I found this but it made me giggle.

- A very good read about the crime half of all humans commit, and the punishment doled out for, Living While Female, at a cat and twenty.

- And finally, one of my favourite bloggers, Jessica Valenti of Feministing.com, was on the Colbert Report last week, and kicked some ass.


I might add more to this later, but right now I am hungry.